“Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed – to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.”
– Parker J. Palmer, “The Gift of Presence, the Perils of Advice”
Once long ago, a friend told me that he realized that I might talk about a problem, but when I did, I really didn’t want any advice. I wanted him to only listen to me as a wise man and a good friend.
How many times a day do we tell our friends or family our thoughts on what they should or could do about an issue when they have not asked for any advice? How do you feel when someone gives unsolicited advice? Honestly, I hate being the recipient of unsolicited advice, but I do it in my personal world all the time.
What drew me to coaching is that coaching does NOT involve giving advice. The beauty of coaching is that it is based on the idea that all the answers are inside us. I believe we do have all the answers inside. Our search for inner peace starts and ends with us.
A coach comes in when you get stuck and cannot find your own answers. Probably instead of life coaches, we should be called “get you unstuck” coaches. We don’t give you answers, but we can use tools to help you get unstuck.
Often, I practice solutions-based coaching. The first issue is determining your goal; where do you want to be in your life or career? Then, let’s visualize it. After you visualize it, I will help you decide on specific action steps to take you where you want to be.
A coach helps facilitate you finding your own answers. As the process goes, it is generally much shorter than psychotherapy.
Right now, there are many competent and qualified coaches in the world. It’s an excellent opportunity to work with someone who can help you get unstuck if you are stuck. Most coaches work through Zoom or other platforms to conduct live sessions, which makes it easier to choose the coach you like, not getting stuck with location barriers.
If you feel as though you are stuck, work with a competent coach to get unstuck. It’s worth the time.